Reasons To Get Excited About The Big Gulp #3
Ryan Barker being stupidly hilarious.
WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME?
Do you enjoy a challenge? Are you too happy? Do you require more dissatisfaction in your life? Would you like a Rear Window style life makeover? Are you embarrassed of your self-confidence in social situations? Never fear, here are some types of people you can compare yourself to in order to realize how unattainable the things you want truly are!
Feminism is not equivalent to “Doing whatever you please in order to manipulate people.” Nor is it equivalent to using your sexuality to belittle men. Being a feminist does not require you to be mean, condescending or hateful of other people/men. Actually, I’d say that feminism asks you to be kind, polite and inclusive. It encourages you to form a path without pandering to patriarchal norms. Using sexism against itself doesn’t defeat the beast—it just, quite frankly, makes feminism look moronic. It is not clever or subversive to use established, antiquated sexual mores to make fools of men—it’s reductive. Feminism’s primary goal is not to hurt men—it’s to equalize women.
[my response to this offensive piece of drivel Sydney Leathers wrote for xoJane]
Anonymous asked: you are not lena dunham
But you, my friend, appear to be an observational genius.
Anonymous asked: Honest question here: Why do you think it's ok to feel indignant about men criticizing your body type when you yourself have openly expressed bias against certain men's body types, such as when you said that you "only date tall men" or "skinny guys can't throw down" and stuff like that?
I think there’s a huge, obvious difference between expressing a preference and attacking someone for not being physically perfect. Everyone has things they prefer, and yes, I’ve expressed preferences towards certain physical attributes. I have NEVER expressed them at the altar of anything else. I have NEVER said, “Tall guys are the best, but damn, short guys are fucking disgusting.” I have NEVER “expressed biased against” a body type, or attempted to body shame a man. EVER.
Also, I don’t know when I would have ever said that I only date tall guys (or at least I don’t remember saying that), because I date A LOT of really short dudes. I think when I’ve written about men’s bodies I’ve been very careful to make it clear that I’m not dismissing anyone’s body as unsexy, just that certain things have an appeal to me, like a hairy chest, for instance. Also, there’s a lot of comedy in my writing, so I’m looking for the humor in my preference for a hairy chest, as opposed to belittling men with smooth chests—I think that’s pretty apparent if you read my writing.
Moreover, there’s a HUGE difference between the way we talk about female bodies and the way we talk about male bodies. Go to Walgreens and take a look at the magazine rack. How many headlines are there about men’s weight? How many about women’s? That, more than anything, is why I defend the way people—strangers—talk about my body. Because we need to change the way society looks at women so we can see more than just what their thighs are doing when they walk. I’m not trying to change the conversation so that we attack men—let me be very clear on that. I want to change the conversation so that we can start treating women’s bodies the same way as we men’s bodies.
Here’s the first still from The Big Gulp. I’m almost embarrassed about how happy I look to be in bed with such a sexy man. Almost.
Over the weekend, I posted this photo of myself on set, as I prepared for a scene that involved me being in my underwear:
This morning I woke up to a lovely Tweet advising that I “Hit the gym”.
Listen. I know my body isn’t perfect. Look at that little burrito gut! I definitely look a little fatter in the non-filtered, un-cropped version too:
And you can certainly expect that when I’m on camera I do not look super thin. I look, actually, like what I think the average woman looks like; soft around the edges, a smattering of downy hair across my lower back, spidery stretch marks on my hips and boobs and cellulite on my thighs.
What of it?
I walk around on a daily basis being pretty happy with my body, and indeed, I spend a great deal of time enforcing this through my writing and zealously championing positive body image. I like me, and I like me a little bit podgy in the middle. I like, as the DoP from the shoot would put it, my “cover of a rap magazine” ass. I like my wobbly thighs. Occasionally, I wish I was taller, thinner, toner, but that’s always fleeting; chips are way, way better than any of that stuff.
I put myself in an incredibly vulnerable position for the shoot, and indeed when the show is released, I think that vulnerability will increase. I didn’t over think it when I wrote the script, or while I was on set, but in the past few days I’ve had to reflect, I’ve realized I might have put myself directly in the line of fire.
So I guess I’ve started to understand what Lena Dunham did for us in Girls. I have, in the past, found her nudity gratuitous; but being now in a similar position (although I don’t go all the way nude), it’s clear that she’s a young woman that threw herself under the bus of our collective cuntiness in order to say something about the female body that no one has been gutsy enough to say before. And that is bold and brave, and I’m currently taking off every one of my hats to her.
Our bodies are our bodies. They look the way they look. Neither Lena nor I are unhealthily overweight. The only concerns people have here are purely aesthetic. And that makes me mouth vomit; our preoccupation with crowning ourselves the arbiters of what “looks good” on another person is one of the most disgusting traits of our society.
So to the man that told me to hit the gym I say: Fuck off. I exercise 4-5 days a week. I don’t diet, but I eat with balance. This is what my body looks like, and it’s perfect. Good luck to you EVER getting your dick wet if this milkshake isn’t good enough for you, because this isn’t just what I look like. This is what WE look like. Asshat.
On a scale of one to #katycat how absolutely batshit insane does my new devotional candle make me? (luv u @katyperry)
EVERYTHING about this headline.